It's been over two weeks since I wrote my last blog. I apologize! I worked on one for several days last week, but ended up deciding not to put it online. It was titled "Faithfulness" and was my effort to summarize a lot of things that I have been processing through and learning here. Hahaha. I realized I still need to do a LOT more processing before I can put any of it into adequate words. I saved the draft though, so hopefully once I'm back in the States I'll be able to finish it.
The week before last was pretty uneventful as far as "doing" goes. I was still sick and stuck in bed a lot. I wasn't able to work at the orphanage and missed several classes, which was really hard. On Wednesday, the 11th, I had been sick for a week and a half, and had already tried taking over-the-counter meds without any results, so Bryan decided I needed to visit the nearby clinic. We went the next day and a doctor prescribed me two different types of meds. The appointment and the pills combined only cost me 20 bucks! Throughout the rest of the week I didn't feel much better, but once I finished the prescription last week I started to feel like I was on the mend. After two and a half weeks of being sick, I have finally gotten most of my health back.
Those weeks of being sick were a trying time for me, as I had to stay home alone quite a bit and felt like junk. A combination of feeling horrible and not being allowed to do anything made me an emotional and homesick wreck. However, I continually asked God throughout the days to not let them go to waste. I really believe that He did put them to good use, and I am so thankful for that. When I wasn't sleeping, I read, journaled, prayed, and cleaned the apartment a lot. I spent a lot of time thinking about, and processing through, what I had learned in my classes so far (thus the attempt at writing a blog last week). In my Spiritual Formation class, we recently had a discussion about “being vs. doing,” understanding what defines our lives as Christ-followers, and how to find that balance. What a gracious, timely gift from God, that He would give me that information right before I would need it the most. When I wanted to be “doing things” the most for God, He took my hand, stopping me from running ahead, and said, “Hold on, child.” He needed me to be completely still before He could teach me the particular things He had in mind.
Out of the two and a half months that I have been in Ecuador, my heart was transformed the most during those weeks of loneliness and “unproductiveness.” God called me to examine my heart and dig to a deeper level than ever before. It has been incredible to see Him move and speak to areas of my life that I didn't even know He wanted/needed to speak to. My soul can now rejoice in that time of sickness because I have seen what God has done in my weakness. In retrospect am reminded of what Paul said in 2 Cor. 12:9-10, “But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'... That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” God is always gracious and loving, and it is so wonderful to know that He will never allow time to be wasted, as long as it is time given to Him. :)
Thank you to all for your love and support. As I've said before, your prayers mean the world to me, and especially now in these last few weeks of my trip. Know that I am praying for you too! Chao!
*Currently in love with the song “All the Way My Savior Leads Me” by Chris Tomlin.*
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